Where have all the ladies gone?

I know I have quite a few posts about the disappointing men I've encountered, but today I'm turning the table on us girls. As politely as I can say this... WHERE HAVE YOUR MORALS GONE? Maybe guys wouldn't act the way they do, if girls wouldn't let them get away with it. So for every booty call you accept, first date you get frisky and guy you cheat on, you're making it so much harder for girls who are purely and innocently wanting love. That being said, here are my 5 tips for females today. Disclaimer: I am not perfect, not even close. I fail daily but I refuse to let a mistake become an excuse to lead to a lifestyle. 

1. Respect yourself. If you don't believe that you deserve to be given the world, why would a guy believe you are? You're so much more than a long pair of legs or a cute booty. If a guy likes you for only your exterior, what happens when that fades? On that note, Miley please stop Twerking in iridescent, white pants. 

2. Love yourself. Just because you aren't society's size 2, blonde Barbie doesn't mean you aren't flawless. Until you can love yourself, I don't believe you can fully love a man or accept his love. Whether or not you have a boyfriend should never determine your happiness or value. 

3. Close your legs. (Blunt, I know.) I'm SO tired of hearing all the excuses. You're right, you are the only girl that was born with hormones. I don't care that your dinner cost $100, your self-worth costs so much more.  Every guy you have "in your bed" takes a piece of your heart that belongs to the man you tell "I do". Don't forget what you learned at Church camp, no ringy no dingy. 

4. Don't put up with the crap. Don't drive to him at midnight. Don't take back the guy who stood you up four times. Don't put up with your boyfriend of six months swiping girls right on Tinder. Because while you're putting up with way less than you deserve, Mr. Right can't pursue a heart that's taken. 

5. Be honest. As much as you don't like his wandering eye, he doesn't like yours. One at a time girls, life isn't an episode of the Bachelorette - which means it isn't appropriate to have an intimate relationship with more that one guy at a time. For every guy you cheat on, some girl has to clean up the pieces and convince him she is different. Guys have walls to you know. 

That's it, that's my advice! I know what you're thinking... Your advice is clearly working for you! So I've never been in love and I don't have a boyfriend but someday I'll be able to give my WHOLE heart to a guy. Maybe I'm not cool, at the moment, because I don't have a +1 for my four weddings this fall, but at least it'll make MY wedding one I can really celebrate. (Bow chica wow wow)

Perks of Marrying a Virgin

Let me start off by saying, I am a virgin and PROUD of it. In fact, just so guys know my intentions, I typically introduce myself like so, "Hi, I'm Ashley and I'm a Virgin." Think I'm joking? Ask any of my friends. That being said, I also strongly believe in making fun of myself and looking at the humor in life. So sit back, grab a glass of wine and enjoy my virgin perks.

Perks of marrying a Virgin:

1. You've heard the theory that you should "test" the car before you buy it. Well, the bonus of marrying a virgin is you don't have to worry about what type of "car" you are. I have never driven a BMW or Lexus. So you could be a 1986 Kia and you're going to be a Bentley to me. 

2. Couples often tell me that sex isn't that exciting and when you're married you'll barely "do it". Let's take a look at the math... If you've been having sex since you were 17, get married at 28 by the time you're in your mid 30's you're (probably) over it. Which means, if I get married at 28 (fingers crossed!) I'll be nearly 50 by the time I'm supposed to be "over it". Future husband, you are welcome.

3. When you're dating a Virgin, you don't have to worry about pregnancy scares. How many times have you driven your friend, girlfriend, sister or a perfect stanger to CVS because someone is a little "late"? At least I can confidently tell you when my pants are a little snug it has nothing to do with me carrying your child and everything to do with eating too much FroYo. 

4. Virgins are easily swayed. When I get married I'll have (roughly) 28 years of built up... um... "feelings", so when it comes to Virgins we'll never respond with "been there, done that." I think I've elaborated enough, you know what I mean...

So that's it, four reasons to enjoy dating or marrying a virgin. Everyone gives us a hard time because we're making our beau wait BUT when it finally happens, I can gaurentee my husband will have way better lockerroom talk than yours.