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Sunday, September 9, 2012

The Plague: Singlehood

Sometimes I feel like being single is like having the plague. People apologize to me, ask me how I'm feeling/if I'm okay and sometimes I'm fully convinced people would bet on attending my funeral rather then my wedding. Awkward. So I've decided to help the general population and teach you how to speak to a single person. Please do take note because we are a rather large population.

1. Stop apologizing! Usually people ask the same general questions: How is work? Where are you living? Are you dating anyone? And when I say no, I usually get this "I'm so sorry." I'm only 25, I'd like to think that I have a few years left until I need to sign up for an arranged marriage - Which my Papaw said he'd take me to Greece to take care of that, so at least I have options. p.s. Please don't tilt your head or pat my shoulder while you're apologizing, I'm not dying here I'm just single.

2. After the apology it usually goes into something like, "What kind of person are you looking to date?" After running off my usual Christian, honest, family oriented... pause... pause... pause... Okay okay! GOSH! So I want him to be tall, a good dresser, a little buff, a hard worker, golfer, travel lover, spur of the moment yet a total planner, someone who would take a morning jog with me but also understands when I just want to sleep in, a romantic. Oops! I've said too much. "Well, do you think your standards are too high?" Yes, I think they are but I also think that's okay. I believe that God wants everyone to have the best, I think that goes from a career to a future spouse. So I'm going to continue to wait and believe that I can find a romantic Christian man who will have a beer with me while watching baseball.

3. The question I love the most is... Why are you still single? Well, I'm a little crazy, my standards are a "little high" and I don't believe in bar hopping every weekend to find Mr. Right. I love this question because it's usually followed up by who I should date. My most recent recommendation, Sean Lowe from the Bachelorette. I love that people say that, I think it's a sweet compliment because he is a seemingly amazing guy (This I've gathered from Reality T.V. and Twitter stalking. Duh.) but it isn't like I can have my people call his people. I haven't gotten my people yet, they're on back order. However, I do appreciate that efforts of my family and friends Tweeting him that he needs to take me out - some people would be embarrassed, I absolutely love it.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that people ask me questions and actually care to hear about my life. And I know that no one means anything offensive, this is just a funny outlook. Besides, if I focus on the funny about being single I sometimes forget that my best relationship has been with a bottle of Moscato and I usually have to bring one of my friends as my date to weddings.

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